


Memories in the Rain.

by xHollyGlambertx



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Sauli Koskinen RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 05:50:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3639105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xHollyGlambertx/pseuds/xHollyGlambertx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Los Angeles:  The City of Angels; the City of Dreams. Yet, sometimes, the Angel disappears, and the dream shatters. </p><p>Adam’s just returned from his tour with Queen. To keep his mind busy, he spends countless hours in his gym trying to push the tender memories to the back of his mind; memories of Sauli. If only the weather outside would be more exuberant - he might succeed. Yet, unbeknown to Adam, it is the rain that grants him everything he’s been missing and wanting. </p><p>Who needs a rainbow when you have rain?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories in the Rain.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Yes, I’m back and still around haha. Over the months, I have had quite a few notifications about ‘Animal’ so here is what I’m suggesting about that fic:
> 
> ONLY READ THIS PARAGRAPH IF YOU HAVE INTEREST IN/READ MY LONG VAMPIRE FIC ‘ANIMAL’: Basically, what I am preparing to do with Animal is complete it. So, take a deep breath because I will complete it haha. Even if it takes me ten years I’m going to finish Animal, because I still have the same passion for it that I did when I started writing ‘Animal’ almost two years ago. College, as you know, has, and is still, taking over my life, and my exams will start in a few months. At this moment in time, what I propose to do is take up this fic again in June/July, once those exams are out of the way. And I know how annoyed you guys must be, as it’s almost been a year since I updated that fic. I still can’t believe that myself, and it upsets me. So, yes, in conclusion that fic will go on. All I ask for is a few more months of waiting. We’re Glamberts, right? We try our hardest to be patient ;) So, in the meantime, I’ve wrote this small fic to keep you guys occupied. You may also be able to see how my writing (hopefully) has developed over the last year. But it’s still my style, and I still have that same approach of my thought process every time I begin to write anything. 
> 
> This fic is named “Memories in the Rain.” It’s a fic about reflection, loneliness, memories, rain (lol), angst, pain, emotions, human nature, feelings, and hopefully a few things that may keep you pondering and thinking – I always like to throw that kind of thing into the mix. But, there is some cuteness and love later on. No sex this time (sorry haha) but I hope you guys enjoy it.
> 
> The wheels of this fic were set into motion with a conversation between me and @WerkBitch28 about that unfy pic Adam posted on Instagram in his gym, so drop her a thank you if you’re on twitter, as without her this fic would not have happened. She was my beta for this fic and a great go-to-girl for when I was struggling with some ideas that I had. 
> 
> So, here are 3,182 words for you to sink your teeth into :) 
> 
> Enjoy!

Los Angeles:  The City of Angels; the City of Dreams. Yet, sometimes, the Angel disappears, and the dream shatters.

Every time he looks out the window he can see rain; even when it isn’t raining. But, today, the raindrops are falling. At least, Adam believes they are. Fuck. The gears in his mind haven’t been functioning correctly in the longest time.

He keeps a firm hold of the weight in his right hand, lifting and lowering the dumbbell, flexing and relaxing his bicep. Every breath that leaves his lips forms an almost perfect circle of clouded-mist on the float-glass window. He can sense the glow of grey that surrounds him, the repulsive aura that pulses from him, especially around his naked torso.

Adam leans closer, inspecting his visage. He turns his head from side to side, carefully running his long fingers and thumb under his eyes, softening the shadows and lines. Sleep is no longer a familiarity to him anymore.

Adam can feel a burn under his skin, he’s not sure if the burn is due to excessive anaerobic exercise, or the burn that fails to be extinguished in his heart, in his muscles... Especially his muscles. The burn feels like salt in an open wound, biting upon the open flesh.

Adam plops himself on the window ledge, pressing the tight skin of the side of his face against the dull, transparent glass, letting the dumbbell rest against the window pane. His eyes are downcast as he runs his left hand absentmindedly over the protruding, thick vein on his opposing, upper limb. The vein isn’t as visible under his beautiful ink, but Adam can feel its tingling presence inevitably. His fingers journey south, trailing over the prominent blood vessel. Adam flinches, his torso and arms go rigid when his index finger is bordering on the fold of his elbow. The memories are still there.   

He can still feel the delicate fingers of the Finn, caressing his biceps every time he crept up on him. When Sauli’s hands weren’t glued to Adam’s hands, they were resting on his biceps and forearms; particularly, the spot where his upper limbs met the lower.

Moisture blurs the raven-hair’s vision, warming his skin, caressing his cheeks. In his reflection, he can see the painful rivers that dominate the rims under his eyes and his cheeks.

The piece of oak wood, which sits nicely under the window, is wide enough in width that Adam’s legs are able to dangle above the sprung floor of his gym.

The room is heavy with the stench of sweat and achievement. Adam’s deep breaths have transitioned into whimsical pants.

His eyes hurt, his chest hurts. Every god-damn thing hurts.

Adam has shed blood, sweat and tears within the confinement of the intimidating room; due to the large, acrylic mirrors that occupy two of the adjacent walls. Adam takes one final glance out the window, his eyes fix with a couple - young and very much how he and Sauli used to be; their fingers intertwined, their smiles more blinding than the sun’s amber rays – they complement one another admirably.

Adam swivels on his rear, bidding the outer world a silent farewell until the next time. He’s having one of those days. He misses that specific warmth between his fingers; that soft European skin; that impeccable smile.   

Adam runs his rough palm along his forehead, massaging the knotted muscles into a relaxing trance. He lets his hand slip south to the corner of his lips, lingering the pad of his index finger on the plump flesh. He allows his lids to shut. The tears that have been clinging to his eyelashes for dear life have let go, falling onto the dark circles under his eyes. Sauli had always kissed differently to any of Adam’s prior boyfriends; he would always add a hint of pressure to the left corner of Adam’s mouth. Adam has always kept it to himself, worried that if he brought it up to Sauli then he would have misunderstood and stopped that unique technique of his.

Moments later, Adam gets to his feet, the soles of his trainers impacting softly on the maple wood. He takes a repossessing grip of the dumbbell’s handle. He saunters over to the rack, placing the weight back within its designated fixture.

Adam begins mumbling under his breath, quietly singing the repeated phrase of “All your love tonight.” He smiles to himself. He’s been back in LA a few weeks after the UK/Europe leg of the sell out world tour with Queen, give or take a few days. It’s an adjustment going from the size of the arenas, which hold an average of fifteen thousand, to the confinement of his compact gym, with nothing but his own company as his audience. The silence is deafening.

 “All your love tonighttttt,” Adam sings faintly, registering in low tones.

He stands, feet shoulder-length apart, observing his reflection in one of the mirrors. His shoulders are broad-square, his clavicle rises from beneath the skin when Adam’s shoulders tense.

Just below the leg-hem of his charcoal shorts, Adam’s gastrocnemius muscles have been developing well, the muscles curving distinctively. Adam bends down, stroking the skin that covers the developed muscles; the flesh feels strong – both muscles in exact proportion with one another.

He clicks the muscles in his neck before sauntering over to the silver stereo. Adam’s finger hovers over the play button, from which the stereo has been lingering on pause. He taps the button, the music amplifying, spreading out until it reaches the four corners of the walls.

He strolls over to the barbell, taking a seat on the padded bench, loosening his shoulders by moving them clockwise and then anti-clockwise – unknotting the tension that lingers. Adam licks his lips, the tip of his extended tongue glides along his lower pad, leaving a thin, transparent pathway in its wake. He breathes in harshly, locking the thoughts of the blond away. He should let go of those memories, he tries his hardest to forget them. But if anything, trying to forget only makes the mind remember more.

He lays his back against the stiff board, before wrapping his rough palms around the cylinder handle of the barbell; Adam is eager to start his next round of bench press. He lifts the bar from the rack, his elbows lock as he stretches his arms. Adam breathes slowly, lowering the bar until he reaches the middle of his chest. A faint pause occurs, allowing Adam a moment to exhale; as he raises the bar to his starting position, the muscles in his chest contract. He holds the barbell level, prior to lowering the weight back to the centre of his chest. Adam’s reps are fluent, steady; the bar lowering on every odd beat and rising on every even. His chest heaves, rising and falling like calm yet straining ocean waves.

_I got my mind made up, man, I can’t let go..._

Adam’s focus is on the beat, not the lyrics. But, his heart could argue otherwise.

_I’m killing every second ‘til it saves my soul._

If only time had a rewind button. Or perhaps a pause button would be best... Screw that. Adam would do anything for a replay button.

_Ooh, I’ll be running..._

He knows what he had, what he once had, has fallen through. Like the sand in an hour glass, falling in turmoil and speed until it becomes trapped in the bottom of the glass. Love is no longer on top.

_Ooh, I’ll be running..._

Yet, sometimes. Just sometimes, a few grains of sand remain in the top half of the hour glass – overlooked. Therefore, time does not always run out; just like love.

_‘Til the love runs out..._

If only Adam could have the desire of his dreams to prove that. But, Sauli’s in Finland, five-thousand-five-hundred and ninety-five miles away – 5,595... He’s never hated the ocean more.

_‘Til the love runs out..._

Before long, his muscles are aching, his chest is tight, and his mind is clouded. There’s a thin, glistening coat of sweat upon Adam’s torso. He finishes his final set of reps, replacing the barbell upon its rack holder. He’s done for today.

He sits up slowly; feeling like a tonne of gravel is lying on his upper-half. But he fights against it, he always does.

He spreads his legs apart, welcoming the stretching tug from his gracilis muscles – in-between his legs. He moans at the twinge. Adam bends his one arm, the elbow balancing upon the centre of his thigh. He brings his head down to his hand’s level, allowing his own outstretched fingers to run through his product-free locks.

The strands are coaxed in sweat, wet and sticky are the few that fall onto the slippery skin, tickling the crown of his forehead.

His breaths are shaky, irrational. He can hear his own pulse throbbing in his ears.

Adam rises to his feet, gasping as his vision goes fuzzy – like static sparks stabbing at his eyes. Shit. He shouldn’t have stood up that fast.

The sweat is dripping from him like the wax of a burning candle; droplets of fire.

He succeeds with assuring his balance; arms out to the side to keep him on his feet. Adam runs his palms down his exposed chest; not his brightest of ideas, as his hands are clammy – he feels as though his body temperature is rising, the ache spreading like wildfire. The burn in particular is strong in his groin, the fleshy parts of his thighs, his armpits, his torso and his hairline.

Chest heavy, he stumbles over to the table, snatching the bottled water into the palm of his hand. He unscrews the cap, knocking back a few thick gulps of the transparent liquid. Adam moans, the water merely clenching his thirst. He raises the bottle high, arm bent slightly at the elbow, so he can overturn the bottle – the water gushing over the majority of Adam’s frame like a minute waterfall.

Yet, his muscles are still screaming. The burn has only been tamed for a few minutes at least.

In relief, the continuous echo of the pitter-patter against the glass pouring outside snaps Adam’s gaze to wander across to the window.

The corners of his lips perk up into a Cheshire cat grin, exposing his beautiful, pearly whites. His one eyebrow rises, the other lowers. If Adam’s eyebrows were weapons, they would floor anyone who appeared in their wake.

Adam’s not sure what he’s doing until he’s doing it. His torso seems to be leading the way... or maybe it’s his heart leading the way? He’s not so sure.

He slams his front door behind him. He can barely register running out of his gym, but here he stands on his front porch. Adam inhales two, deep breaths before running into the open of the front of his home, exposing himself to the heavy rain.

Adam groans, humming under his breath as the natural water soaks his naked torso and the garments of his lower frame, his shorts are now shrivelled – stuck to his skin. And, he can feel the puddles in his trainers, squelching as he shifts from one foot to the other.

His sweat mixes with the rain, producing a dichotomised concoction of warm liquid – the cool wetness of the rain, and the hot burn of his sweat. Adam continues to rub the water into his skin, just as one would do with lotion.

Adam allows the rain to consume him, feel him, touch him, caress him, hug him and explore him.

The rain feels good; but not Sauli good.

Adam’s hair is soaked through; the brunette strands look almost black. Most of the dark locks are glued together; the points look like lethal thorns.

In that moment, Adam has to do a retake, his eyelashes flapping like angel wings. But, it seems he is not mistaken. Out of his peripheral, Adam notices a figure trudging up his driveway. The ill-weather has turned the sky dark and grey, allowing Adam to only see the person as more of a silhouette. 

Nevertheless, Adam knows it’s him. The figure matches Sauli’s build, right down to the leather combat boots. Sauli is carrying a charcoal duffel bag over his shoulder and wheeling a navy-blue suitcase behind him.

Even though they are a few metres apart, Adam can hear the strong curses that leave Sauli’s mouth, every time he stumbles over a puddle he does not see, giving his boots a good wash.

Adam stares at him, Sauli’s features becoming clearer as the distance between them shortens.

Even in the rain Sauli looks beautiful, but he’s not meant to look beautiful; not with his blond locks matted or his skin as pale as sleet. Yet, he looks beautiful, because Adam never fell in love with Sauli’s physique or the constructed ‘whip-cream’ sense of his golden hair. Adam fell in love with Sauli’s heart, his soul, and that is why he always sees Sauli as beautiful, because that is something no rain can change.

Sauli’s teeth are clenched, his hands red from the vampire bite of the bitter cold; his knuckles have tiny lacerations, the skin broken - causing minimal bleeding. Sauli’s soaked from head to toe, dripping water from every exit of clothing – the sleeves of his leather jacket spewing water like leaking faucets.

Shortly, Sauli is standing a mere metre away from Adam. They face each other like two cowboys at high noon. Sauli brings the suitcase to an abrupt halt, letting it stand freely on the twin wheels. He opens his clenched fist, the duffel bag falls to the solid ground with a thud.

“You won’t believe what it took for me to get here,” Sauli shouts through gritted teeth, his accent strong. “First, my flight was delayed five hours. Then, I thought my luggage had been lost, but luckily, it had been placed on another flight that landed not too longer after mine.”

Adam can’t stop the corner of his lips twitching, desperately trying to perk up into a childish grin.

That’s the thing about Sauli, even when he’s angry, he’s adorable.

“Oh, and the taxi that I called to bring me here, broke down about six blocks away, so I had to walk the remainder of the way here, gasping for breath, and I’m fucking soaking!” Sauli’s arms are flapping around like plane propellers. “My favourite leather jacket is ruined!” Sauli continues. “My things are probably spoilt and...”  The fire and heat, that have been clouding Sauli’s irises, suddenly extinguish, as he finally succumbs to eye contact with Adam. All that is left is the aftermath of smoke – calm and quiet. “And...” Sauli is huffing, spitting out water. The rain is still heavy. Both of them hold their position, dithering.

“And what?” Adam asks; finally, breaking the ice. He strolls closer, until the tip of his nose is practically touching Sauli’s. Sauli looks up, becoming hypnotised in Adam’s large, perfectly-shaped, blue eyes, unblinking. “And...” Sauli repeats like a broken record. “And... you look so beautiful.” Adam smiles, feeling a few tears scratch at his eyes. Sauli clears his throat, breaking the eye contact for a moment, but it doesn’t last long. “You always look so beautiful... It’s just been awhile.”

“Baby, you saw me on tour,” Adam whispers, a humorous giggle to his tone.

“Not this close.” Sauli sighs, placing his hands on Adam’s chest, tapping his fingers lightly against Adam’s exposed torso. “I mean not on our own. I missed you.”

That is all the invitation Adam needs. He can read Sauli like a book, a book that he is a very special part of. Sauli is there with him, leaning, lifting the heels of his feet off the ground to brush his lips against Adam’s cheek.

When they pull apart, a smile is present on both of their faces. Adam rubs his knuckles against Sauli’s right, growing cheek, the bumpy bones making their journey across the feather-soft skin, smudging the raindrops on Sauli’s cheek... Some of them are warm.

“Sauli, are you crying?” Adam whispers; taking both of the Finn’s hands in his, stroking the bruised and cut knuckles. Holding Sauli’s hands is like flying.

“No, no, I’m fine,” Sauli replies, but the cracks in his voice suggest otherwise.

“Baby,” Adam murmurs, sternly. Sauli knows he has been found out. The name Adam only uses for him, the name that makes him weak at the knees and splits him in two.

Sauli kisses his index finger, tracing a heart shape onto the centre of Adam’s chest.

Just before Sauli is able to slip his hand away, Adam gently grabs his wrist, holding Sauli’s hand steady against his chest. Sauli opens his palm, feeling the thrum of Adam’s heart kicking against the heel of his hand.

Adam takes a step forward. It may just be a step, but Adam knows it’s the best step he will ever take. He wraps his arms protectively around Sauli’s waist, holding the smaller body against his bare skin.

Adam’s dark lashes close, Sauli’s lighter hairs falling shut simultaneously. The warm breath of the pair heats against the other’s visage. They both swallow hard before their lips touch, magnetising together like a north and south magnet. Padlocked.

The kiss is soft, nothing but plump pads meshed against plump pads – innocent, comforting and safe. Adam moves his palm south, caressing the firm edge of Sauli’s jaw. His skin is soft, but cold and wet from the rain.

Adam slips his tongue out of his mouth, just gradually, letting the point at the tip glide along Sauli’s pout. The wetness of Adam’s tongue is warm, heated with want and need... And touch. He wants to feel Sauli, to be as close to him as he possibly can, and, after that, to be closer still.

Sauli’s lips pop apart, shivering from the bitter cold. Adam’s tongue seals the gap, the length of his hot muscle dives into the opening, coaxing the interior of Sauli’s mouth – exploring, reminding him of the space within. It’s familiar. The feelings he once had are surfacing, awakening from hibernation.

The kiss is slow, perfect... almost. But nothing is ever perfect. Define perfect... You can’t.

A puddle of warm water washes over Adam’s heart, as Sauli unconsciously adds that hint of pressure to the left corner of Adam’s lips.

Their lips are wet: soaked from their saliva, the rain and their own tears. The pain that has been eating away at Adam’s stomach is shutting down; coming to a final halt once the kiss is broken. The spark is still there between them, scaring and exciting them both.

Sauli hooks his teeth into his bottom lip, looking up as the sun comes out from its hiding place behind a thick, dark cloud, the rain has subsided. There’s no rainbow in the sky, but they don’t need a rainbow to symbolise how they feel right now.

The rain has done them justice.

What they have created together is a memory; the perfect memory in the rain.

**Author's Note:**

> For readers of ‘Animal’, I should hopefully be dropping a new chapter this summer, so keep an eye out! I am really excited about getting back to that fic, considering its 250,000+ already and the next chapter will mark the halfway point. So technically ‘Animal’ will probably be the length of 4 or 5 novels in one. Oops xD But, it does get a lot darker, which has me grinning like crazy haha ;))
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this small fic! I love writing for you guys and it’s always an honour to hear your comments and thoughts. I’m always happy to answer questions about why I may have wrote something a particular way or why I write what I write. 
> 
> If you ever have an idea of maybe another short fic or idea then drop me a tweet or comment here. I do like to take in my readers’ opinions.
> 
> So yeah, until the next time! 
> 
> Love you guys! :) xoxo


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